Career Advice by Tyler

I’ve always fancied myself something of an A&R guy.  And in that delusion, I do have some real thoughts about how some people should be running their careers.  I put together this post in case these artists happen to frequent visit this blog.

Without further ado…

Kelly Rowland

 

Kelly Rowland:

Fire Matthew Knowles.

Call Raphael Saadiq, one of the Soulquarians or Mike City.

Think: R&B, not pop.

 

 

Monica

Monica:

We get it.

You’re a hoodrat from ATL.

Now will you just sing some real songs?

Also – losing the blonde hair gets you bonus points and maybe my attendance at a concert.

 

Keri Hilson

Keri Hilson:

I don’t really understand anything about you.

Why do I have to keep hearing about you?

Go away.

 

 

 

 

Timbaland

Timbaland:

This is your blackness reminding you that we liked you before you gave Static and Ginuwine’s style to white boys.

Our patience is wearing then, Tim.

Be warned.

Call G, apologize and make that magic again.

 

 

 

 

Ryan Leslie Sean GarrettRyan Leslie and Sean Garrett:

Just give it up.

You’re not artists.

Seriously.

Stop.

Now.

Oh yes, the NY kids what their style back too

 

 

Tank


Tank:

Yes, you are a killer balladeer.

But that ain’t all you are.

The knock of ColdestThrow Ya Hands Up?

Remember that on the upcoming joint.

En Vogue in 2008En Vogue:

So excited about the reunion.

That said, Dawn wasn’t entirely wrong in 1996.  Updating the sound would be good.

A few words of caution when doing this: Mariah. Janet. Beware.

James Poyser, Raphael Saadiq, Jamey Jaz, or Organized Noize.  Call em up.

About tlewisisdope

I write. I live in DC.
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